Tonight the monsters in my head
Are screaming so damn loud
But I built walls so high
So they never even make a sound
It's a mask, it's a lie
It's the only home I've ever known
'Cause being who I really am
Has only left me more alone
I am not okay
And I need you to see it
I have so much to say
And no one to hear it
The reason I keep quiet
With so much at stake
I always feel like a burden, let it silence me
You'll never understand
Why it's so hard to say
I'm not okay
I wish I had a scar
Had a bruise on the surface, any kind of proof
That everything I feel is more than just some sad excuse
My life's invisible abuse
I'm either judged or have to hide
The only symptom you can see
Is I don't wanna be alive
I am not okay
And I need you to see it
I have so much to say
And no one to hear it
The reason I keep quiet
With so much at stake
I always feel like a burden, let it silence me
You'll never understand
Why it's so hard to say
I'll never have the words, I can't explain this hell
But what if it kills me
If I keep it to myself?
To myself
I am not okay
And I need you to see it
I have so much to say
And no one to hear it
I am not okay
I am not okay
I'm never safe
It's not a phase
If I finally break
Would you still stay?
Tonight the monsters in my head
Are screaming so damn loud

Everything is so awful
I wish things were different
I can't stand this loneliness
I struggle
But noone understands
Everyone only hate me and want
To make things worse
Living in hell
In total darkness
With no hope for the future
With no good connections any more
How will anything ever rebuild itself again
When everybody only wants to tear it down

Daily

How can people ever be in touch again
When everything is forbidden
Forbidden mostly for me
Because I'm an outsider
Because I'm left apart
I don't know why I am still existing
Why it is so much hate in this world
I can't stand against all this hate alone
I've done all my life

It's so unfair!!!

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