Cover

I have family around me that loves and cares.
Yet I find myself lying in bed with tears.
My life is perfect and I have no reason to complain.
Yet it feels like my every effort is made in vain.

I am scared of failure but I don't want to be productive.
I wonder when my behavior started to become destructive.
I hate to socialize but I want to have friends.
I wonder when the lines on my wrist won't be from pens.
I don't want to be lonely, but I want to be alone.
I wonder when my cover of perfection will be blown.